It's almost time people. It is almost my diagnosis anniversary. Now, you maybe wondering am I scared? Nervous? Anxious? All of the above and then some is the correct answer. Lately, I have been working through my feelings. Last week I sat with my husband to explain to him how I felt like I ruined Christmas. Yes. I felt like I was the grinch that stole Christmas. His response was a weird facial expression with shear confusion. He asked, "Why would you feel that way when we all were praying for you to get through this?" I responded simply, "The entire family was at the hospital with me and not in their homes exchanging presents."
My husband left me with that statement for a moment. He was still puzzled and really did not have a verbal response. I continued to make my point valid with all kind of materialistic points. He soon began to laugh. And then he questioned, "What does Christmas REALLY mean to you? Presents or being present?" Yup, he stopped me dead in my tracks. It was as if I had forgotten the real meaning of Christmas. Yea, Jesus birthday! You know our Lord and Savior!
I then stopped talking (yes, this is hard for me to do). And, I began to realize all the blessing I have endured over this year. I still have so many people to thank and to be grateful for. God awakened me with my diagnosis to show I have a huge family. Not just blood related persons, but a plethora of people who love me so much they are willing to take out there time and energy to feed me, bathe me, clean my house, help me pay medical bills, drive me to doctor appointments, text me, call me, console me, and help me get through my journey. I am grateful this Christmas will have a more meaningful feeling. Not just me being in the spirit of giving, but to also be grateful for my FAMU orange cap created by Rahkia, my birthday twin flying directly into Columbus to sit with me during a blood transfusion, and Tina and Marie sleeping in my hospital room while it was 50 degrees because my fever would not break. This is the reason for the season. To thank God for little baby Jesus and the love, compassion, and being the wayshower of how to live life.
So, yes I still might cry Christmas Eve. And I may continue to boo-hoo on Christmas day. But, I will also be thanking God for the great year I have had...recovery and remission!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Love,
Wyllie Valencia McGruder
My husband left me with that statement for a moment. He was still puzzled and really did not have a verbal response. I continued to make my point valid with all kind of materialistic points. He soon began to laugh. And then he questioned, "What does Christmas REALLY mean to you? Presents or being present?" Yup, he stopped me dead in my tracks. It was as if I had forgotten the real meaning of Christmas. Yea, Jesus birthday! You know our Lord and Savior!
I then stopped talking (yes, this is hard for me to do). And, I began to realize all the blessing I have endured over this year. I still have so many people to thank and to be grateful for. God awakened me with my diagnosis to show I have a huge family. Not just blood related persons, but a plethora of people who love me so much they are willing to take out there time and energy to feed me, bathe me, clean my house, help me pay medical bills, drive me to doctor appointments, text me, call me, console me, and help me get through my journey. I am grateful this Christmas will have a more meaningful feeling. Not just me being in the spirit of giving, but to also be grateful for my FAMU orange cap created by Rahkia, my birthday twin flying directly into Columbus to sit with me during a blood transfusion, and Tina and Marie sleeping in my hospital room while it was 50 degrees because my fever would not break. This is the reason for the season. To thank God for little baby Jesus and the love, compassion, and being the wayshower of how to live life.
So, yes I still might cry Christmas Eve. And I may continue to boo-hoo on Christmas day. But, I will also be thanking God for the great year I have had...recovery and remission!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Love,
Wyllie Valencia McGruder